Thursday, July 23, 2015

Broken

When I announced a few month ago that I was back blogging - that really was the plan. I planned on blogging three times a week. (Monday, Wednesday, and Friday) Well, it's Thursday and I'm just sitting down in front of my laptop debating if I want to do this at all.
I have always been able to share pieces of my life without apprehension, but today I feel torn because of recent circumstances in my life.
I decided to go ahead and write because writing makes my soul feel better, and today my soul is hurting. Not sure if there will be more blogs in the future though - I'm taking this one day at a time.

I've lost a lot of things over my life time thus far (key word- things) but today unfortunately what I'm losing is people. People that are a huge part of my life and are suppose to stay in my life until the day that I die. The ones that are your cheerleaders, your go to people, the ones that understand and trust you, aka family. Instead, I've become a punching bag, the one that you can say mean and hurtful words to without apology, and the one that is no longer needed to work on keeping the family together. I can take the punches because that's who I am - a fighter for what I believe in, but I can't pretend that I have no feelings - I'm human so naturally hurt and sadness is part of my emotions. I don't think others are aware of that, which I'll take responsibility for because I don't break often.

Furthermore, I don't pretend to understand all of the bumps in the road that God places in my life or particular family members. I don't understand His timing, and sometimes I never understand the lesson that I'm suppose to walk away with. What I do know is that my faith is strong, and the God that I believe in always heals. Today though I'm not patient with my faith. I want to know why, I want to know if He's hearing my prayers, and I want answers today. I know it's selfish and egotistical of me, but it's how I'm feeling at this moment.

I know that it's unrealistic for me to ask and expect immediate answers. I most likely will wake up without answers to my question, but I'm not going to give up hope on the possibility of a miracle. Praying strong!

Peace, Love, & Hugs!

Friday, July 17, 2015

I Was Wrong

This week has been a little hectic due to some changes in my life schedule. I've missed a week of seeing and spending time with my family which isn't normal for our family.
But on the upside I'm meeting new people which brings me new knowledge, and from that I shall grow, so it's a beautiful thing!

Speaking of meeting people and new knowledge, I made some prejudgments this week that I'm not proud of, but I'm human and I make wrong decisions occasionally.
This week I met several new people which some I immediately clicked with, and others I sat shaking my head in wonderment because of my first impression of them. Not first impression based on appearance, but first impression based on behavior. As the week continued I was drawn to having a real conversation with each of them because I wanted to understand the behavior that I was questioning. I learned some horrible events that had taken place recently in their life - different stories, but equally sad. I felt awful in thinking that I would have no connection with them, and it was horrible of me to question a relationship based on their demeanor without hearing their story. I was wrong, and I know better. So that was my reminder to something that I already knew and typically always practice. We all have a story so be kind, don't judge, embrace differences, have a conversation for a better understanding, and work on lifting each other up.

Have a fabulous weekend!

Peace, Love & Hugs!

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Fried

When you make the decision that your dream is going to become a reality in a specified time, be prepared to be exhausted through the journey.

I can't even think clearly this week because my brain is on overload, and in case you don't know, it's a 56 years old brain! I'm finishing school this week so lots of work there, and now I have school for my new job which involves a lot of memorization. I know there's others doing more, and it's all doable - I'm just tired and fried! My brain is use to me inputting useless information such as, answers to weird stuff that no one really cares about, preschool activities, song lyrics, positive quotes, and anything that you want to know about Bravo TV. Shallow you're probably whispering under your breath about now, but I really do and know more - it was just on my time. I now have to be accountable to someone else. As for Bravo, I unwind to Bravo TV in the evening as I enjoy my wine. It's just ridiculous TV that's laughable. (the shows I watch)Which brings me to another issue - no wine time or Bravo. By the time I get home it's bed time! But as I stated in the beginning I want some different things in my life within the next 5 years so I need to step out of my comfort zone and work my ass off! So tonight while you're sipping your wine, think of me. I'll be learning, studying, and meeting new people for the next chapter of my life. Cheers!

Monday, July 13, 2015

Cheap Mask Because I'm Cheap!

I love the beauty industry, but I'm cheap. Not frugal...cheap! I don't like paying high prices for my skincare so I make my own products such as scrubs and masks for my beauty regimens. I want to pass on a great face mask.

Sunday evening my daughter and I decided our face was in need of some TLC so I made a face mask that consisted of two products that most of us have in our home - Knox Gelatine and milk.
You use 1 tablespoon of the unflavored Gelatine(not jello), and 1 1/2  tablespoons of milk. Mix until it's a chunky consistency and microwave for 10 - 15 seconds depending on your microwave. ( heat until warm not hot) Stir and apply quickly before it hardens. Leave on 10 -15 minutes or until you feel like you've had major Botox and smiling becomes difficult.

Now for a few warnings - 1. If you're sensitive to smells you might not want to do this. It has an odor that I can't describe other than, disgusting! But, once it begins to cool and harden the smell isn't as noticeable.  2. Avoid your eyebrows and hairline. I slapped this mixture over my entire face not thinking about it attaching to hair. Let's just say I felt like I waxed my face and it hurt like hell trying to peel it off my eyebrows. My daughter pretty much started the process of a receding hair line. We found that a warm washed cloth applied to the eyebrows/hairline works wonders on peeling off the mask.

The result was great and our skin feels amazing!

“These days, you’ve gotta milk a
dollar out of every dime.” 
― Gayle Forman



Peace, Love & Hugs!


Friday, July 10, 2015

Practice Kindness

A couple of days ago I was in the Dollar Tree, and was greeted with a big smile and welcome when I entered by a young woman with cute pink hair.
As I walked around the store I over heard talking to a co-worker stating that she didn't sleep well, and was in a bad mood that she just couldn't seem to shake.
 I walked down each isle shopping tuned into her voice for some reason. I heard her greeting and having upbeat and positive conversation with every customer that she checked out. As I walked up to the register I received no different from her - she complimented and commented on a few of my purchases, and we laughed about my weaknesses and calorie intake like we had been friends for a life time. The giggles continued as she tore my receipt from the register and said, "And this is for you," with a huge smile across her face. I replied with, "And this is for you," handing her a card that my friend Sara and I hand out when we witness kindness.
As she was reading the front and back of the card I said, "I overheard your conversation that you were in a bad mood and couldn't shake it. I listened to you as I walked around the store, and you've been kind to everyone including myself, thank you!" She thanked me with tears in her eyes and that huge smile I that I had been a witness to as she held on tightly to the card bringing it to her chest as if I had just handed her a winning lottery ticket.
Just a reminder that it doesn't cost a thing to be kind. Be kind in your journey - Kindness does matter!

Peace, Love & Hugs!

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Books & Music




I have been reading The Inspirational Writings of Robert H. Schuller, (second series) The Be-Happy Attitudes & Be Happy You Are Loved, which has filled my mind with an abundance of new thoughts. If you're considering making changes in your life to create happiness within you - I highly recommend reading this book. It's an oldie, published in 1988, but a great one! 

Along with reading a great book I'm also a lover of music. Music became my friend and my salvation at a very young age and continues to play a huge part in my life today. As I was reading and listening to music, this song seemed to fall in line with where my thoughts were - it fed my soul and is my inspiration for today!  I hope it brings some comfort to you in whatever you're facing today.

Peace, Love, & Hugs!

Monday, July 6, 2015

Life Threw Me Some Lemons

I hope everyone had a safe and happy 4th of July weekend!

I learned a few new life lessons over the weekend, which is proof that age doesn't allot us the wisdom to handle some of life's storms. I had to acknowledge and accept that some families are just broken, and some people just don't want your help. Some people have an image of you that you didn't know you portrayed, which in turn leaves them to have a misconception of you no matter what growth or changes that you've made in your life.
I can't fix what I didn't know was broken, and I can't change the thoughts in the minds of others. Furthermore, I can't force change upon anyone but myself, and that is something I do daily. I don't ever want to become stagnate.

Families break up when people take hints you don't intend and miss hints you do intend.
Robert Frost

I'm a product of a broken screwed up mess of a family, so I never wanted that for my immediate family. But I am not God, and I'm obviously not the matriarch of my family, so I have to walk and give people the space that they need so they can have their peace, and so that I can have mine. I believe that's called respect.
It saddens me to do this because I believe that behavior speaks volumes and reveals a conglomeration of things, and families should extend the olive branch, but if people don't want you in their life - they don't want you in their life. It's not giving up the person, but it's knowing that they have had enough, and it's time to accept and respect that.



 The bottom line is you can only love the best that you can, but sometimes that's just not enough for some people. Families have struggles, love can be complicated, and life is hard. So I'm going to accept the lemons thrown at me and let it go for the good of everyone involved.

Peace, Love & Hugs!